I think I have a problem...

as if we didn't know that already! Laugh it up, you meanos. But seriously, lately I have been feeling as though my friends and I are getting really old really quickly. I mean, I've already discussed here how I think that I've passed my prime (which occurred at the ripe, longed for years of 17 and 18), but it's becoming more and more evident every day. So, recently I've been catching onto seemingly innocent things that I do that, as I delve more and more into psychology and pretty much become an expert on Freudian theories, I'm beginning to think might be a little repressive, an intsy bit denial, or at least a tad distorted/ delusional projection with a heaping side order of suppression. ( Please send academic praises and awards to my home address.)

First off, no matter how old I or they get, I take the names of my one-syllable named friends and add a y for a younger, more cutesy sounding name. Some examples: Timmy, Matty, Frankie (here the "ie" takes place of the "y" but carries the same suffix sound), etc. Also, and this really tickles someone's fancy (I bet), I get mixed up about exactly what year we are currently existing in. Today I got back the THIRD paper in about 3 months where my professor circled the year "2006" at the top of the page. Was 2006 a really good year or something, you ask? Who knows, I just completely forget sometimes what year it is so I take an educated guess. Also, today I was wikipediaing someone (as per usual) and when I saw their DOB I did the math in my head to figure out how old this makes them when it struck me!! For the first time, I realized then when I do date of birth calculations in my head, I stop adding at the year 2005! For who knows how long now I have been subtracting years off of people's lives! This particular man, age 37, had been 34 for me for the past three years! You can only imagine the impact this has had on my dating life in the past hour since I've made this life-altering realization. Some of my most eligible celebrity bachelors (or happily married men), under new calculations have been pushed into higher age brackets! Dermot Mulroney- yeah, not 39! He's in his forties. I mean, thats not going to stop me from pursuing him or anything, I just want you all to understand what sort of things I'm working with here.

So the point of all of this, I guess, is that I'm a little off my rocker as of late, but I blame it on having all this spare time to reflect on my lost life. Man, growing old is so strange and I wish everyone would just freeze frame... except some people...and some people can change their wardrobes...

I think from now on, every birthday I have will be my 2oth. Maybe I shouldn't have said that..

In case you've been concerned about me..

Parents, loved ones, people who read this and think they fall under the category of my "loved ones," friends in close and distant places, friends I want to be further away from, and the general blogatory creepers (myself definitely not excluded),

In case you have been concerned about my living situation here in this beautiful heap of dung known as Worcester, Massachusetts, here is an email I received today from the dean of students at Clark that should help put some of your worries at bay:

I have been informed that the water issue from earlier today is now fine. The brown rust that came through has gone away and it's safe to drink the water again.

Denise Darrigrand

Denise M. Darrigrand

Dean of Students

Clark University

Well, it is nice that I just now received that email after being at classes all day, regretting not noticing the earlier poison-death water email that apparently came through. Whats perhaps even more disconcerting than receiving an email like this is receiving an email like this only after you have successfully completed teeth brushing, face washing, and several water-drinking excursions. Now that it's brought to my attention, this morning my toothpaste did taste strangely like old pennies. Besides this, apparently the water I had been utilizing/consuming was apparently very noticeably discolored which only encourages me to get more sleep at night so as to avoid future confusion between normally clear and infectious brown liquids. Also, related to not getting enough sleep- the other night(morning?) I reached new lows (even for me!) when... I.... .... ..


slept-facebook-checked! I know! It's embarrassing and I don't know how it happened, but apparently I read TWO messages that I thought were just dreams but later (maybe 15 hours later) realized that they in fact were reality and that I just didn't consciously sign myself onto facebook. How embarrassing! I'd rather be that friend of mine that once peed under the Christmas tree while dreaming she was in the bathroom than be the girl who checks facebook in her sleep. Something has got to be done.


On an unrelated note, I hope everyone had a lovely Purim or Easter or just regular Sunday. I received my lovely Easter basket in the mail and am now enjoying some delicious gummy bears. I almost exclusively like the red and clear ones, which I like to eat back to back, together, only after I have chewed/bit/gnawed off their ears, eyes, faces, arms and legs.

WAIT! I just realized that sometimes I get the clear and the yellowish/dirty one's mixed up! No WONDER the Worcester dirty pond water fooled me...

NOT AGAIN!!!

You guys will never believe what just happened to me... well, maybe you will because I'm writing about it and it's really not that insane and as far as I'm aware I haven't given most of you reason not to trust me... but STILL!

So, here I am, minding my own business, skipping down the path to the UC to collect my EASTER PACKAGE (ahem. sorry) and who do I run into again but Fritz, one of my favorite campus walked K-9's and his seemingly European human companion. Quickly thinking back to my last encounter with this pair, I was very proud of myself when I remembered to act cool so like the Who I won't be fooled again. (I included that lyric despite the grammatic error of using the wrong verb tenses and switching presences.) Fritz runs over to me, as per usual, and I proceed to pet him. But THIS TIME when his owner approached me, I quickly and confidently said, "oh! he's so cute, what's his name?" Good one, Juliet. Way to be composed, cool, and not a pet-name memorizing freak at all. To which Fritz's owner hesitantly (perhaps worriedly) replies, "Fritz... but I thought you knew that, haven't we met before?" FOILED! I didn't know what to say!! I was completely caught of guard and since acting cool is something new for me, I didn't know how to cool my way out of this!!

Completely mortified, I said the most embarrassing thing to ever leave my mouth. " [giggle] yeah.. G2G!!!" AHH!! I was so nervous that I LITERALLY said "G- 2- G." I mean, yeah, I'm weird sometimes, but I've never been that girl! That girl that replaces her emoticons with faces like these ^-^, incessantly types lol after every online statement, and adds colons to demonstrate what action they are performing while communicating over instant messenger (::shakes head in shame::). To take it one step further and actually proclaim an internet/texting shortcut outloud to a man who already thinks I should be institutionalized!? It was so horrible that I just left my research meeting to come downstairs and type this up in the computer lab really quick.

I just hope that Fritz is still allowed to hang out with me. Next time, I WILL be prepared to play it cool and Fritz's owner will be impressed. Mark my words, but for now- g2g.

The Return of the King(s)

Tomorrow night at 11 marks the return of Broad Topics to all of your neglected eardrums!!

In honor of spring break with it's spirit of social debauchery, nell and i have decided that this week's theme will be (dun da da dooooo!!) CRIME!!

That's right all of you closet psychopaths and sinners- this is the show for YOU! Feel free to email in any song requests as well as some crimes that you have committed! (Please nothing that can actually have you committed- cough ashley alexandra dupre) and don't forget to call-in as per usual. Let's start a radio rebellion!

This is one comeback you won't wanna miss! TUNE IN!

rocu_broadtopics@yahoo.com

--- www.clarku.edu/students/rocu

More Excuses

In the next few days I have to:

-storyboard, shoot, log and capture, and edit a 4 minute film
-comprise a 12 source annotated bibliography for a study I have not yet designed
-design study
-learn and then study logic for a test
-figure out my summer plans included location, internships, jobs, money
-fit in cuddle time with bleeks

BUT I WILL BLOG

Mittens on Kittens!

Bleeker?! Spitzer?! St. Patty's Day?! Spring break parts one and two?!

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND YET I HAVE NOT BLOGGED!! ( I just held down the shift key for all of those individual letters and it was significantly more difficult than just using the caps key!)

Clearly, I am off my rocker.

To my defense, my laptop bit the big one about 3 weeks ago leaving me friendless, fruitless, alone and hopeless. Luckily, my friends and the fruits of my labor combined together to provide hope. After some tears of frustration, pullings of hard drives, borrowing of laptops, and pathetic pleas, father shed some light on this forgotten shepherd and bought me a sheep! The sheep is now grazing, and I am beginning to remember how to point my curved little stick, tickle my beard and walk around in an open field. (Seriously, what do shepherds even do?) In short, I have decided this blog has been neglected for too long and I am now making it my mission to update more often. This most certainly correlates to an overall decrease in entertainment per blog, but will hopefully encourage me to write a little more and eat /watch tv / fiddle / prod /waste/chud a little less.

This all, of course, is starting tomorrow....

I am truly sorry for the many blogless nights, but for now- top o' the morning to you! Enjoy this St. Patrick's day that was officially moved from tomorrow to yesterday at the swift gesture of the Pope's hand. Don't mess.

Restless

I feel like I am in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Its a terrible, boring episode. I have been lying awake in bed since about 4:45 am, after managing a slight 2 and a half hours of sleep. This doesn't really make sense seeing as how last night I was more tired than I remember being in a long time. It's a weird thing when your body aches in every single way from being worn out and lacking rejuvenation, yet your mind can't stop racing with every single thought fighting it's way into consciousness as if it needs immediate address.

Outside I heard the unmistakable, disheartening sound of cat crying. With this, I decided to get out of bed to make sure there weren't any cat/human killers lurking around. Just one of those feelings you know. As i walked towards the window, I nearly peed in my pants when the early morning quiet was suddenly disrupted by the cat screaming. I was afraid I was experiencing an animal sixth sense situation and that if I looked out the window I would have seen a zombie. I mustered up the courage to slightly peek out (being absolutely quiet in case something was there) and a disheveled black cat was outside the window- staring at me. We stared at each other for what felt like 10 minutes and, out of respect for the dead (or undead-which this ghost cat obviously was) I slowly closed the blind and walked away.

Now here I am, absolutely terrified- to be frank. I'm feeling 2 parts scared, 3 parts surreal, and 5 parts physically pained but mentally together. That being said, for all of those who live in Worcester: I'm glad you have been able to sleep through it (which I'm judging by the sheer silence outside), but there is a demonic feline outbreak currently entailing (pun intended) that I think you should all be made aware of.

I guess now is a good of time as ever to watch Helvetica. Maybe I'll make my roommates breakfast.