Copyrighted Material, Do Not Steal

Earlier I did the logic homework that I had put off last night in order to write that burden of a post. The text is straightforward enough, and conceptualizing the greater idea whilst employing the proper symbols in doing so isn't impossible, either. Instead, what I find myself getting caught up on is the utter (Mom, I'm sorry) bullshit jargon that composes constitutional law. It is totally circular, redundant and roundabout, fails to be anything but repetitive, doesn't not use a lot of double negatives to reiterate the same basic things, and finds new ways to say the same thing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, etc. again. Furthermore, it does so using the most pretentious language that is either outdated or exclusive to legal matters requiring the use of a legal dictionary in practically every sentence. No wonder they needed to develop the use of symbolic logic! Well, here's a logical thought- SIMPLIFY THAT BS. Come on, logicians, its called layman's terms and it is here to help everyone! If you would just describe your arguments, conjuncts, statements, statutes, premises, conclusions, locutions, etc., there really would no need to write everything in symbolic form. Instead of being so incessantly repetitive, simply compose your thoughts in a cohesive, easily understood manner.

Unfortunately, however, I feel that perhaps people that "uphold" the law might just be unyielding enough to resist eliminating their pretentious jargon at fear of losing their jobs to the layman (me). So, instead, we must read, and re-read, and then put symbols to, and then re-read, and then analyze a piece of legislation in order to properly do our job as prospective lawyers/defenders of justice/maintainers of order. HUZZAH!

It was this frustration with legal/logical jargon that not only stunted an ambition of one day becoming a lawyer, but also led to an idea to write an edited, updated version of "Law for Dummies," from the popular series of books, "(Money Wasting) for Dummies." After the copyright and dedication (to you, im sorry you've purchased or stole this, ripped open the plastic covering, and inevitably have read this) pages the book would read as follows: (Ahem)

"If you have purchased this book with some form of currency that is, by definition, a medium of exchange, a store of unit and a standard of legally recognizable value, or stolen it for any number of reasons one of which necessarily being your desire to potentially practice law, with the optimism that this book will help you short-cut your way through the modern legal jargon and logical symbolism employed by persons of the legal system and/or their legal constituents, which themselves are both unyielding by definition, it is my civilian duty as author of this book and presupposer of knowledge that you seek an alternative career path for several reasons including but not limited to your inability to comprehend valid, complex statements, which themselves are an ingredient to any valid legal argument, as well as the practicality in seeking a career that will more sufficiently provide for the currency which you have may already alloted irresponsibly in the purchasing of this book.

Or, in Layman's Terms, if you are a 'dummy,' in no way should you expect this book, or anything else for that matter, to provide you with the necessary tools of becoming a profitable lawyer. So, why not invest in something a little bit more practical given your unintelligible circumstances and earn back some of that money you just wasted on this book."

Even though I'm too much of a dummy to become a profiteering lawyer, the way I see it at least I have the potential of yielding some capital from the purchases of this book. Hmm, cheating people out of their money for exclusive self-benefit? Maybe I do have a little lawyer in me after all!

At a later date, I will use the tools that I am learning in my logic and legal analysis class to logically symbolize my argument against law and dummies, and will even provide one (or more) valid, legal proofs to support my claims (all of which will also be included in the book, obvi). Right now, I am too tired, plus I want to post another entry with an unrelated topic, plus I have to wake up early to make it to logic and legal analysis on time. Oi vey.